The new normal in adoption: Birth parent no longer secret

A new survey shows that more than 55 percent of adoption cases are fully open -- and 95 percent involve at least some relationships between birth parent and adoptive family.

The secrecy that long shrouded?adoption?has given way to?openness, and only about 5 percent of infant?adoptions?in the US now take place without some ongoing relationship between birth parent and?adoptive?family, according to a comprehensive new report.

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Based on a survey of 100?adoption?agencies, the Evan B.?Donaldson?Adoption?Institute reported today that the new norm is for birth parents considering?adoption?to meet with prospective?adoptive parents and pick the new family for their baby.

Of the roughly 14,000 to 18,000 infant?adoptions?each year, about 55 percent are fully?open, with the parties agreeing to ongoing contact that includes the child, the report said. About 40 percent are "mediated"?adoptions in which the?adoption?agency facilitates periodic exchanges of pictures and letters, but there is typically no direct contact among the parties.

"The degree of?openness?should be tailored to the preferences of the individual participants," said Chuck Johnson of the National Council for?Adoption, which represents about 60 agencies. "It points to the huge importance of the right people being matched with each other."

The?Donaldson?institute, citing its own research and numerous other studies, said most participants find open?adoptions?a positive experience. In general, the report said,?adoptive?families are more satisfied with the adoption?process, birth mothers experience less regret and worry, and the?adopted?children benefit by having access to their birth relatives, as well as to their family and medical histories.

"The good news is that?adoption?in our country is traveling a road toward greater?openness?and honesty," said Adam Pertman, the institute's executive director. "But this new reality also brings challenges, and there are still widespread myths and misconceptions about?open?adoption."

The challenges, according to Mr. Pertman and other?adoption?experts, often involve mismatched expectations as to the degree of post-adoption contact. The?Donaldson?report recommends counseling and training for all the adults involved, as well as post-adoption services to help them and their children work through any problems that arise.

The president of one of the largest US adoption?agencies, Bill Blacquiere of Bethany Christian Services, said his staff encourages expectant birth mothers to meet with the prospective?adoptive?family to discuss the array of options for an?open?adoption.

"As much as possible, we allow the parties to design that themselves," Mr. Blacquiere said. "We mediate to make sure both parties are getting what they need."

The post-adoption relationship may start out warily, then become more comfortable as time passes, but Blacquiere said each party should keep the other's expectations in mind even as circumstances change.

Source: http://rss.csmonitor.com/~r/feeds/csm/~3/qnSwhN0-gEY/The-new-normal-in-adoption-Birth-parent-no-longer-secret

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